Wednesday, December 29, 2010


Well this was NOT the post I intended on doing today. I had planned to to a "Wordless Wednesday" where Lucas is being pretty funny.

All that changed last night around 6:00. We had finished eating dinner and Brent was giving Lucas a bath. I went to "let the clean up crew in" as we like to say, Corben and Chloe help around the house by picking up whatever food Lucas may drop during dinner. I went to the back door and I didn't see either one of them (which is unusual) I was on the phone with my mom and didn't want to alarm her so I waited until I hung up with her to call for them. I yelled and yelled and nothing. I went and told Brent the dogs were missing he finished Lucas' bath and met me in the front yard. I couldn't figure out how they got out (Brent thought someone took them, I find that pretty funny, ha!) Then we remembered we had been playing in the yard with Lucas on Sunday and had the gate open, we forgot to latch it back.
Brent went and asked the neighbors if they had seen them, no one had. Our sweet neighbor next door jumped in her car and started searching. Brent went searching too. They came back nothing. I went searching for a while and nothing. We opened the gate and the garage just in case they found their way home and I was praying the dog catcher picked them up and I could get them back the next morning. With a toddler in the house I am still so needed I went ahead and laid down with Lucas to try and get him to bed in the process I fell asleep too.
Brent said he had to go look around one more time before he could sleep.
At 11:00 Brent and Chloe jumped on the bed and Brent yelling he's dead, Corben's dead. I had no idea what was going on it took me a good moment to collect myself and figure out what was going on. I saw Chloe and felt relief and in the same second hearing what Brent was saying a wave of shock and sadness fell over me. "No not Corben, Chloe where's Corben" I was so upset. And in disbelief.
See I was the kid that nothing EVER bad happened to her pets. I had always heard of other's getting hit by cars, taken to new homes, etc. But when I was growing up pets were family and my mom treated them like gold. The only pet losses I've had to experience is old age, a cat that lived to be 16 and our family dog that died at 12. So no that could not be MY Corben Brent was speaking of. But it was.
I gathered myself and went to the living room we called our parents, they had been worried sick. And Brent took Corben up to his parents' to bury today, it had already started raining. We cried like babies and didn't sleep much at all.
Brent found them in front of a car lot here in town on the highway just a few blocks from home. He said Chloe was laying beside Corben.
The worst part about it for me is, On Christmas day Corben bit Lucas on the cheek. Not a big bite he was just trying to warn Lucas about getting close to his new Christmas bone. I was SO mad at Corben, in anger I told Brent "get them a dog house they are living outside" I will never forgive myself for the last few days he was alive I was mad at him.
I have never been so upset about a loss in my life. Sure I've had a few family members pass away but I had time to prepare myself for those and the ones that were sudden I was to little to fully understand. Even in all my up bringing with pets I guess I never realized how having a pet around everyday can make them feel like real family. I cannot stop crying I have cried hard and I have cried as soft as I can. I went into work for a few hours this afternoon because this is not the time of year where I can just be off and I was a blubbering mess the whole time. I have truly never felt like this. I feel so empty. I feel so sorry for Chloe, she keeps going in the back yard just wandering around. I know she is looking for him.
But my sweet husband called to check on me at work today after he had buried him and he said " he is in doggy heaven" That was awesome.
Corben was a sweet dog, loved people,loved his cats and LOVED his sister Chloe. He slept under our bed instead of sleeping in his own. He loved tennis balls and would play forever I think.I still cannot believe I will never see him again. His hair was soft and chocolate brown and he had pretty green eyes. I think if anything can come from this it is never take people,pets, or circumstances for granted, I will thank Corben for teaching me that forever. I do believe I will miss him for a very long time. I know he is having fun in doggy heaven though.
Rest in Peace my sweet, sweet brownie. Mommy loves and misses you so much.

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