Wednesday, April 13, 2011

My Thoughts Lately

*This is truly intended for me and no one else* My blog is my scrapbook/journal so I feel completely ok with writing how I feel. So here goes... My life is full of ups and downs as is everyone else's, lately I've had some downs in the social area of my life. I've had my feelings hurt more than once in the past few weeks by "friends"/family/co-workers that I interact with a lot. I have thought a time or two over the past few weeks I guess it's me, I guess I'm just a soft hearted weenie and I need to get over it. But I've always felt if someone hurts your feelings you should tell them if you feel like a: it will make you feel better b: will not hurt their feelings in the process. But I have learned that if telling them how you feel will make a bigger stink out what has already come to not say much, maybe that is wrong but telling someone something they don't want to hear ALWAYS makes things worse for me. I have told Brent before I've got to weed these people out of my life that cause my heart to hurt so often. And that is how I am feeling today, I'm hoping by writing this down I can go back and read this to give me some clarity when things seem to get foggy as they often do with these relationships. I have a hard time saying I will not see/talk/think about said people I just to have to have a different type of relationship with them. One where I don't give and give to receive nothing in return. I do not want to sound like the type of person who is always looking for her own good in the situation, that is so not me! But once you give people time after time after time and they still have no problem treating you bad that is where it gets me. I will say yesterday was was one of those days where some folks were just on my last nerve and I could feel the blood a bubblin! But Lucas had his spring program at school that I was pretty excited to see (pictures soon!) and we were going to eat afterwards with my mom and brother and Brent's parents. I also have to say I am so grateful to the family and friends who are so genuine! At the program last night I talked with a "newer" friend I hadn't seen in a while and she is one of those so sweet people who make you just want to be kind to everyone. Then having dinner with our "family" you know the ones who are always there and are always the ones you can talk to. Those are the times when I think I don't need the few who hurt me I need to put focus on the ones who never want to hurt me. And IF the ones who hurt me fade into the background it is only their loss. But most of all I just have to remember to ask and pray for guidance! Ahh that feels so much better to get that off my chest! He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is a calm spirit. Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; when he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive. Proverbs 17:27-28

1 comment:

Jessica S. said...

Grrrrrreat post my friend. I may need to resort back to this very page myself. =) It's a mean world for a soft hearted person and I am sorry that someone has hurt you!