The Past Few Days...

Have been hard to say the least. We miss Corben a lot. Our home is not the same. I know it takes time but not sure we are ready for the new "normal" anyway. Brent and I are heartbroken. I NEVER thought I would be this upset. Brent said last night he is worried about forgetting about him and moving on. I know it's what would be better for us, not to dwell but to remember the good times. Guess we're just not there yet. Corben just had a huge personality that filled our home and now it seems so empty.
Yesterday we had an unseasonably warm day (60 degrees in December!) and all I could think about all day is how much Corben would have enjoyed this day, I was so sad. Then last night it started raining and that upset me too because he was not warm at home with us. I just try and remind myself he is with us and he is enjoying everyday.

I still cannot drive past the place where it happened, I have been taking a different route in and out of town. I just can't bear to see it. I did not cry as much yesterday. I have already cried more today. And I can't help but to blame myself, "If only I had tried to shut the gate one more time!" it makes me nauseous to think about.

Chloe has been better. My neighbor (the one who helped us look for Corben that night) Holly brought her over some toys and she actually played with them. I taught Lucas how to play tug with her. Last night we went over to my mom's house because my uncle is in from North Carolina and Chloe went with us she had a great time!
Tonight we are supposed to go on a double date with our friends Desiree and Sean. But Desiree had bronchitis so I'm not real sure she will feel like going, If they don't go I don't know if I will feel like going.

That is all I have for now. I hope a new year can bring us some peace.

Corben

Well this was NOT the post I intended on doing today. I had planned to to a "Wordless Wednesday" where Lucas is being pretty funny.

All that changed last night around 6:00. We had finished eating dinner and Brent was giving Lucas a bath. I went to "let the clean up crew in" as we like to say, Corben and Chloe help around the house by picking up whatever food Lucas may drop during dinner. I went to the back door and I didn't see either one of them (which is unusual) I was on the phone with my mom and didn't want to alarm her so I waited until I hung up with her to call for them. I yelled and yelled and nothing. I went and told Brent the dogs were missing he finished Lucas' bath and met me in the front yard. I couldn't figure out how they got out (Brent thought someone took them, I find that pretty funny, ha!) Then we remembered we had been playing in the yard with Lucas on Sunday and had the gate open, we forgot to latch it back.

Brent went and asked the neighbors if they had seen them, no one had. Our sweet neighbor next door jumped in her car and started searching. Brent went searching too. They came back nothing. I went searching for a while and nothing. We opened the gate and the garage just in case they found their way home and I was praying the dog catcher picked them up and I could get them back the next morning. With a toddler in the house I am still so needed I went ahead and laid down with Lucas to try and get him to bed in the process I fell asleep too.

Brent said he had to go look around one more time before he could sleep.

At 11:00 Brent and Chloe jumped on the bed and Brent yelling he's dead, Corben's dead. I had no idea what was going on it took me a good moment to collect myself and figure out what was going on. I saw Chloe and felt relief and in the same second hearing what Brent was saying a wave of shock and sadness fell over me. "No not Corben, Chloe where's Corben" I was so upset. And in disbelief.

See I was the kid that nothing EVER bad happened to her pets. I had always heard of other's getting hit by cars, taken to new homes, etc. But when I was growing up pets were family and my mom treated them like gold. The only pet losses I've had to experience is old age, a cat that lived to be 16 and our family dog that died at 12. So no that could not be MY Corben Brent was speaking of. But it was.

I gathered myself and went to the living room we called our parents, they had been worried sick. And Brent took Corben up to his parents' to bury today, it had already started raining. We cried like babies and didn't sleep much at all.

Brent found them in front of a car lot here in town on the highway just a few blocks from home. He said Chloe was laying beside Corben.

The worst part about it for me is, On Christmas day Corben bit Lucas on the cheek. Not a big bite he was just trying to warn Lucas about getting close to his new Christmas bone. I was SO mad at Corben, in anger I told Brent "get them a dog house they are living outside" I will never forgive myself for the last few days he was alive I was mad at him.

I have never been so upset about a loss in my life. Sure I've had a few family members pass away but I had time to prepare myself for those and the ones that were sudden I was to little to fully understand. Even in all my up bringing with pets I guess I never realized how having a pet around everyday can make them feel like real family. I cannot stop crying I have cried hard and I have cried as soft as I can. I went into work for a few hours this afternoon because this is not the time of year where I can just be off and I was a blubbering mess the whole time. I have truly never felt like this. I feel so empty. I feel so sorry for Chloe, she keeps going in the back yard just wandering around. I know she is looking for him.

But my sweet husband called to check on me at work today after he had buried him and he said " he is in doggy heaven" That was awesome.

Corben was a sweet dog, loved people,loved his cats and LOVED his sister Chloe. He slept under our bed instead of sleeping in his own. He loved tennis balls and would play forever I think.I still cannot believe I will never see him again. His hair was soft and chocolate brown and he had pretty green eyes. I think if anything can come from this it is never take people,pets, or circumstances for granted, I will thank Corben for teaching me that forever. I do believe I will miss him for a very long time. I know he is having fun in doggy heaven though.

Rest in Peace my sweet, sweet brownie. Mommy loves and misses you so much.

Christ-mas Time!

My family and I had a wonderful Christmas Eve and Day this year! Lucas is old enough to really enjoy all of the festivities and he loves getting to see everyone. We got to eat a ton of good food and spend the afternoon at Brent's Mamaw's! Lucas got too many toys and is truly spoiled! We did not go over board with gifts and kept it simple this year, we are scrimping and saving to be debt free! (really soon! I'll save that for another post)But I got the best gift of all this year, a newly found relationship with My Jesus! I am so thankful for coming back to Him! He makes my life fuller than it has ever been, I feel a calm over me that has been nonexistent for years! And I know it will only get better from here on out! And I am so excited to see what He has in store!

In the past 5 years or so I haven't put him at the center of my life for one reason or another, there really is no good reason. I have been searching to fill my life, weather it be friends or material things to no avail. And now I know why. I want to focus on finding a Church this year for my family to get involved in, I want Lucas to know everything I didn't as a kid I want him to love Jesus from the get go; and if we don't find one that's OK I will keep worshiping the best way I know how reading, praying, and song.

To some this will be a real shock, I have been pretty private about this and not many know but I want to talk about it and I am glad I can share with everyone. I am not ashamed!

I am so grateful to have a support system there is no way I would have been able to pursue this new path without it! My co-worker and now dear friend Jessica, she has shared so much with me and will never know how special she really is to me. And my husband Brent he has been so helpful and supportive, he actually grew up knowing about God and Jesus and learning about the Bible. He has taught me reading the Bible is not hard or scary. He also gave me my own Bible for Christmas and highlighted his favorite verses! Such a great gift I will treasure forever.

So this year He really is the reason for my season!

Now you know I can't do a post without pictures!! Here are a few!

This is the closest Lucas would get to Santa with a smile, I still can't believe he cried when we tried to put him on his lap! Maybe next year!

Lucas with his new Elmo watching Elmo! He is a big fan!

Lucas and daddy on Christmas day.

From our home to yours!

Christmas at My Place!

The Nester and Kelly are doing some Christmas Touring of Homes! So I thought I'd join in on the fun because I just LOVE my Christmas decor! Enjoy!

Welcome! Wreath on the front door!

Stockings in the entryway.

One of my favorite finds this year!

Our Christmas Tree! ( I know it's only half decorated,I'm learning that's what happens with a toddler in the house :)

Close up of the garland I made, thanks to Gretchen :)

Mantle complete with real holly and lots a other goodies!

Centerpiece.

*Linking up to The NestingPlace and KellysKorner!

Tis the Season!

For lots of Festive Fun!!

We've had a lot going on this past week with Christmas Celebrations, one of the many reasons I love this time of year!

Last Monday we had Lucas' very first school Christmas Program! All the little boys in his class had to wear a shirt and tie (adorable) and the girls wore dresses. They "danced" to The Jingle Bell Rock. The. Cutest. Thing. I. Have. Ever. Seen! I loved it! All the classes did a song and the older classes did two songs. They put this on for the teachers' Christmas bonus, pretty good idea if you ask me. You have to buy tickets for $2 but of course everyone in the family wants a ticket. Lucas had the whole family there!

Here is the best picture I got, we also recorded it.

Saturday Night we had my work Christmas Party. I had never gone before but decided I'd go this year. It was so fun! I can't believe I hadn't gone before this year! Great dinner and lots of dancing. We were going to go to a movie after we ate but decided to stay for the rest of the party. Its always fun to get dressed up once in a while ;)

Picture of us at the party.

This week we are continuing the celebration of Christmas we are going to go to the park and ride the train through all the lights on Wednesday. Thursday I have my work Christmas Party and gift exchange (always a big ol' fun time) at work. Friday Lucas has his class Christmas Party, I'm going to go to that and take a ton of pictures, I LOVE spending time in his classroom all the kids are so cute! And then Saturday we have our Annual (2nd year) Christmas Party at our house with a bunch of friends and family complete with our version of Dirty Santa!

I will tell you what though having a little one around for the holidays makes it so much fun! Lucas is loving all the fun food and activities! And brings me back to my childhood for sure!

Have a Christmas filled week everyone!

My Reading List Lately!

This past year I have really started reading again. I used to read A LOT as a kid but then quit as I found more "fun" things to do. I love romance novels and true stories but in the past few months I have started reading books with more meaning and really enjoy reading books with a spiritual undertone. Here are a few that I highly suggest!

Great Great book of the power of unconditional love. Can't wait to read more by Francine Rivers!

This is a story about a mother who loses her baby but never gives up her faith in God. Incredibly moving story. Angie also has a blog that I read often, Bring the Rain.

This book I am only half way through but I can already tell it's going to be high on my favorites list!

Have you read any good books lately?

Full Weekend, No Pictures!

So we had a pretty busy weekend.

Friday Brent went out of town to look at a car so it was just Lucas and I we had hotdogs and marshmallows for dinner, his favorites! We watched cartoons until daddy came home!


Saturday we had a Olivia's first birthday party to go to! Miranda (her mommy) did an amazing job with all the food and decorations! It was "Yo Gabba Gabba" theme and it turned out amazing! Three tiered cake and all! I am so mad at myself for not having my camera, my mom had hers so I need to get what she has and post them. Lucas had a blast there was tons of balloons and kids to play with! We even left with some of Miranda's awesome cake balls!


Saturday night Brent surprised me with a "Date Night" those are few and far between for us so I was really excited! We went and ate at El Chico and then went into the mall scouting out Lucas a suit to wear for his Christmas Program at school. That was an adventure to say the least! We ended up finding exactly what he needed but it was way more than I'd like to spend on a toddler outfit that he will be wearing for one song! And let me remind you he still needed some shoes! We found at another store what he needed and half the price of the other place but they were out of his size! I was not happy! After a few more rounds around the mall and the "O my gosh it's 9 o'clock" we decided we better just buy the one we knew would work, so we did. I can honestly say I believe things happen for a reason because on the way home Brent and I talked about how truly blessed we are,and how we I don't need to stress about finances, that we are fine and way more than provided for, We need to be thankful for what we have. Because when I get stressed I have a way of making everyone around me unhappy, I don't know why, coping mechanism maybe? I don't know, we talked a lot about that. So that was my "relaxing" date night! Ha!

Sunday we (Lucas and I) had another birthday party and a baby shower to go to! Lucas had fun at both, I am so glad to have a baby that LOVES people, he can have a good time just about anywhere that someone will pay him attention and he got it on Sunday!
After the shower we had to rush home and get ready for a play that the First Baptist Church in Greenwood was putting on. My sweet friend Jessica got us tickets and she was also in the play. It was a wonderful performance of "A Christmas Carol!" They had great people for the parts and the costumes and sets were good too! I am so glad we went it opened up a great conversation between Brent and I last night! Lucas went to a family fish fry with his grandparents so I kinda got two date nights with my husband all to myself this weekend! Score!!


All in all we had a great one! Hope you did too!

The best thing since sliced bread!

"Mrs. Meyers Clean Day" cleaning products! All I can say is wow! Nestergirl has been raving about this stuff for months (and she doing it again today), so I thought I'd give it a try, she said they were available at Wal-Mart and gave us a $1 off so I thought ahh what the heck! Well of course our rinky dink stores (yes I tried 2 of them) didn't have the line yet. I was still so intrigued I went ahead and ordered online. Wal-Mart had .98 cent shipping so I went ahead and ordered the counter spray in Basil and the dish soap in Lemon Verbena. They were in the mail when I got home yesterday.

OK let me tell ya'll something THIS STUFF IS AMAZING! I cannot express to you how awesome it is! I now want all my friends to come over so I can "demonstrate" this product! I told Brent I could possible wear this stuff at perfume! Smells so nice! I will have to say I was a little skeptical about the cleaning power but no it does the job just fine! No different than all the stinky cleaners!

And Mrs. Meyers products are organic based, made from flowers and vegetables!

This is now my go to house warming gift and I hope no one gets offended if they get some of these products for Christmas! Ha!

Now the nester did share today that it will be in the laundry detergent section, so I am going to look again at our stores this weekend. If I find it I will share that too!

(so sorry for the poor pictures, still holding out for an iphone :))

Hope everyone has wonderful weekend!

Wordless Wednesday!

Happy Birthday Hubby!

Today is Brent's 31st Birthday! I hope he has a good day! He will be working most of it but we are going out to dinner with family tonight to celebrate and I am going to surprise him with his favorite cake and some movies he has been wanting! (hoping he doesn't read this lol)

Brent is the best husband, father, and friend I could have chosen to spend my life with! And he defiantly keeps me on my toes! I hope we have many many more birthdays together!

Thanksgiving Weekend!

My weekend consisted of...

A whole lotta Turkey!

Family over watching Football!

Decorating!

And some napping!

Brent's dad (Papaw) got a new dragster that all the boys got to oggle at this weekend! I think that mine loved it the most ;)!

One last shot, Lucas next to the Christmas Tree in his Christmas PJ's! He is having the time of his life with all the Christmas stuff I'm getting out! Yesterday we put up all our Christmas lights outside and he loves looking at them all! He tells me they are pretty, melts my heart!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

What I am Thankful for!

I cannot believe it is Thanksgiving week! This will be Lucas' 2nd Thanksgiving, that just does not seem right!
It is also my very first Thanksgiving to host at my house! I could not be more excited! I love having family over to eat, catch up and play a few games I have up my sleeve!

But today I will post what I have been thankful for this year.

I am thankful for my family; a husband who is my best friend and is always near, a son who is so healthy and smart. Parents who are willing to help when they can. Friends who know me and keep me sane. A job that provides and co-workers who make my days fun! A nice home that we love and can share with others.I am thankful that Lucas can go to a wonderful school with teachers who really love him and that Brent's business is thriving. But I am most thankful for newly rebuilding my relationship with God so I can thank Him for all the blessings He has given me!

Yesterday we went to Lucas' school for "Thanksgiving Lunch" with his class. I love going to visit his class room, the kids are just adorable! Here are some pictures!

Hope everyone has fun and yummy Thanksgiving!