{Ramblings}

Life....


Isn't life funny.... and completely amazing and exhausting and wonderful!


Growing up I thought adult life was full of rainbows and tons of fun! I just knew I would marry a rich guy and have lots of kids and lots of pets. That's what my Barbies had anyway.


As I turned into a teenager I thought I would go off to college and make a career for myself, I never knew what it would be but it was what everyone else planned to do so it sounded pretty good.


During high school I started working at a home decor store at the mall and completely fell in love with decorating. When I graduated I started working full time and taking on more responsibilities at the store but thought I was still "supposed" to go to collage so I enrolled at the local collage and took some night classes, never going far at school at all. But I sure loved working, I loved decorating even more and started to learn about myself. I learned collage wasn't for me, I learned I like to work and I am good at it but most of all I realized I wanted a home and a family.


All this to say sometimes where we end up is no where close to how we thought it would be. I don't have the prefect marriage, I don't have a big house, Lucas is a boy and makes messes daily,my pets drive me batty, and some days are just flat out hard!


But with all the hard and all the messes I am so thankful this is my life. I love my passionate husband, I love my little house because it's ours, I love that Lucas wants to learn by doing things himself, I love my fur babies so very much, I love the way things have turned out for me, I am so very blessed.


Recently I have had to take a step back, a step back from my extracurricular activities, a step back from social networking, a step back from trying to be perfect, that is the hardest one for me. I want everything to be perfect. I was doing pretty good until a few days before Luke's birthday party. I kept telling myself "it's not going to be perfect so don't break your back trying to make it that way" but I failed, big time, I took everything out on Brent and we were at each other's throats all weekend, I worked really hard on Friday and was exhausted, and I hate that I did that to myself, I hate that I did that to us.


What I can say is that I have learned from this. I will spend the next month making it up to Brent and next year I will try again. Because no one is perfect and one thing is for sure I will never be.