It's been a while....

To say the least I think!

We had our little Lane on April 4th. He is such a joy! He is wild like his brother and giving me a real run for my money! 

Our sweet big boy Lucas went to Kindergarten this year! I still cannot grasp the fact I have a school age kid! He is having fun and absolutely loves his new friends! 

Brent went on a 7 week work trip to Paris France in August. He went to a school to learn a new technology for his job. It was hard with him away but I learned so much about my marriage and myself and Brent had the experience of a lifetime! 

I resigned from the bank when I had Lane. It was a very tough decision and I miss my co workers so much but I am really enjoying being at home with my boys. I love taking and picking Lucas up from school. I love making dinner and seeing friends during the day. I love getting to be with Lane and see him do everything. 

I did take on a small job at First Baptist here in Greenwood. I am working in the nursery again and I love that. The kids are precious and the ladies are so sweet. 

We had a great Christmas, Brent had the whole week off from work and that was nice. 

Lucas loves Santa but Lane wasn't so happy to see him! Lol! 

I am really hoping to get back to blogging. Now that Lane in 9 months old maybe I've figured out how to get some stuff done! Ha! 

We will see.... 

Well Hellooooo

Long time no chat! Lots going on and I just can't get into the swing of blogging right now. It's so weird but I guess my mind is just everywhere else right now.

THREE weeks away from meeting Lane! I can't even believe it. I am feeling huge and exhausted but otherwise pretty good. Lots of sharp but quick pains happening but they don't hang around so I know they are just those pesky braxton hicks I hear about :)

His nursery is DONE! I still have some clothes to wash and some organizing to do this weekend but other than that it turned out perfect and I am so proud of it, need to get pictures up!

In other baby news I have had 2 showers in the last few weeks and just feel so blessed that so many are excited for Lane's arrival as well. I have wonderful family and friends and feel so very undeserving of it all. 

One was my work/ going away party/shower and that was so hard to get though. I will miss the ladies I work with like crazy! They have become such constants in my life over the past 6 years. They are like family to me and have taught me so much professionally, life wise, and about motherhood. My favorite thing in the world is to listen to them tell stories about their kids growing up. I feel very privileged to have worked at First National for so long.

 Brent has been super busy himself. Working of course but also him and his dad are building a new racecar.  I ,for one, don't get to excited about this stuff but I went to see it this weekend and it's pretty amazing how he can build something so intricate from just a shell of a body. He has spent many hours on the weekends and in the evenings working along side his dad. Special times for sure. I will have to post a picture once it's completed.

Lucas is a good as ever :) he is getting so very excited to meet his baby brother. I've been showing him pictures of newborn babies to show him Lane won't come out walking and playing, ha! I think he knows that, he remembers his cousin Emmy but sometimes I think his little brain gets going with all the fun things him and Lane are going to do. 

I am getting super nervous about the time I will be in the hospital. I guess every 2nd time mom feels this fear. I want Lucas to be ok while I am there ,and logically I know he will, I don't want him feeling left out or board because mommy and daddy have to be at the hospital. We will have help with him sure but I guess it's just hormone infused emotions worrying me. ha!

I have no idea why I went off on that tangent, see I don't need to be blogging! lol!

Anyway..... my little All'asta endeavor is going so well. I am more surprised than anyone. I just love the products and they are so easy to sell. And the parties I have had have been so fun! I really really wish I would have known about it and started it sooner but I guess everything has it's place :)

 I have so much to get done this weekend at home. I want to deep clean EVERYTHING! Nesting is going to kill me I am sure of it. I am SO tired but just keep going because I cannot get my house clean enough.of course with a kiddo and 2 dogs running around it's pretty senseless to expect anything to stay clean for Lane's arrival! ha!  I want to get our bedroom spotless because he will be sleeping in there and couch washing is on the agenda as well! Also need to set up the pack n play and pack my hospital bag.

Ok I am thinking I have rambled enough today. Have a great weekend!



Thursday Tidbits!

• Two posts in one week! I can't even believe it! ha!
• This week has been very emotional for me. With Lucas turning five and then tonight a few of my sweet friends are putting on a little get together to celebrate the arrival of baby Lane, just so much going on and all happy but I am still so weepy about it all.  
• I can't believe we only have one more day of February left! This year just started and I already feel like it's going so fast!
• Lucas had a great birthday party at the monkey house last Thursday and a good little family gathering at our house on Tuesday night. He told me yesterday he was tired of partying! haha!
• Blogging has seriously been put on the back burner, I hate that but life is so busy right now I guess it's always the first to go.
• We are 36 days away from meeting baby Lane. I can not even believe it.
• I LOVE being pregnant but I can feel the 'wind down' coming. Clothes are getting harder to wear, I can't walk without getting out of breath, house work is getting much trickier to do. I can feel myself starting to want my 'old' body back. I am trying to enjoy these last few weeks though. They will be so SO bittersweet for so many reasons.  
• I guess that's all I have for today. I feel like I have so much more to say but words fail me. I guess 'pregnancy brain' is a real thing! ha!

These Past Five Years.

Today's the day. The day Lucas turns five. I say that in present tense because he isn't really five until 6:08 pm and I am holding on to every moment.

I knew when Lucas was born I'd have a baby, a newborn and even a toddler but I honestly never thought past him being a 2 year old. Maybe that is really weird or maybe every mom is like that. I just thought he'd always be my baby. He'd always need me for his basic needs and he would always be with me. But that obviously isn't the case. He has grown and matured and while he still needs me, it's in other ways.

When I decided to have Lucas I was very young. I had no idea what would all come with having a baby. I was ready but I guess in a way no one is ever truly ready. I have probably learned more from him than he from me.

And as I sit and type this with his baby brother squirming inside me I am reminded of how fast time goes. It can be heartbreaking for a momma.

When I tell Lucas I am sad because he is getting so big he tells me "well you have a new baby now" and I think if only it were that easy.

I am very proud to be Lucas' momma. He is so kind and caring. When someone tells me how compassionate he is it hits my heart like a ton of bricks. This isn't something he has learned from his dad or I. This is something that he has within him. It's amazing. He is bright and does well in school. And he is SO funny and loves to make people laugh. He has an attitude that frustrates me sometimes and he is very hard headed. But when he knows he's made a mistake he is quick to correct it.

He loves animals still and loves his "George" monkey. He loves racing like daddy, and board games and movies. He eats way to much candy like momma. He loves water and swimming pools. He is super active yet very sweet and always wants to cuddle. He is very touchy touchy with people and I have to remind him often that not everyone likes that. ha! He loves spending time with his daddy and will do anything with him, he always has been a daddies boy. But when he's hurt or sad he usually wants me. Cooper is his best friend and they play and fight every day. He is a true joy to be around. 

I have no idea what I did to deserve him but I am forever grateful God chose me to be his momma. I can't think of anything I would have rather been doing these past five years.

Happy 5th Birthday my sweet, sweet boy.

A Post but No Pictures....

I had two friends tell me yesterday that I hadn't blogged in a while, so I thought I'd come out of hiding! kidding :)

Things are going well! Lots going on. I feel like most days I am running crazy only to realize I got only half of what I needed to done that day. But don't we all!

Brent went to work in Pennsylvania for three weeks, he came home on the 2nd and I haven't been that happy to see him in a long time! lol Mama was exhausted!

Speaking of exhaustion, baby Lane is growing big and wearing me out already. We turn 34 weeks on Friday! We got his birthday set last week and if he doesn't get in a hurry to get out he will be here on April 4th! I am super excited to meet him and start this new chapter in our lives.

His nursery is mostly done. I have a few odds and ends to gather but it turned out exactly like I had envisioned it. I am pretty proud of it :)

Lucas turns five in a week. FIVE! Yes! I am hoping these next few days drag by. How can I have a five year old!? His party is on Thursday evening at the Monkey House (his choice) and we all could not be more excited about that. We invited all his friends from school and all his other friends and he's excited to see everyone and play. Next week on his actual day we will have family over for dinner and carrot cake, his favorite.

Lucas is getting very ready to meet baby brother. He asks everyday after school "how's baby Lane doing" he talks to him everyday and has been gathering up "baby" toys to fill his room. He told Brent he wanted to make a window from his room to Lane's so they could see each other and he is convinced we will be putting a little baby bed in his room because Lane will want to sleep with him. He tells me he will help me feed Lane, give him a bath and even change diapers. He already loves his brother so much I can't wait to see how he is once Lane is here. 

A few weeks ago I gave my resignation at work. I won't be returning once Lane is born. It was a hard decision although it was something we knew would happen. It just doesn't make sense financially for me to continue to work and I wanted to be home and in the same town as both of the boys. I couldn't fathom the thought of  Lucas being in Greenwood at school (kindergarten eeeek) and me being all the way downtown Fort Smith working. My job is a great one that I will probably miss some days but being at home is a dream come true so on the hard days I will have to remind myself of that.  

Lucas will 'graduate' from PreK in May and then stay home with Lane and I for the summer. He starts Kindergarten in August. I am really looking forward to summertime, it will be the first and last time Lucas is at home with me during the day. I am glad him and Lane will have lots of time to together before the hustle and bustle of school starts.

I started selling All'asta (previous post) six weeks ago. It has been going well and I now have three parties under my belt, I am learning a lot and having fun too! I absolutely LOVE the products and love the re-purposed feel of the whole experience. I am thankful for something to 'keep my brain going' while I am at home and for a way to chat with people and make a little income :)

I think I hit all the high points :) I have a TON of pictures I need to put up but that will have to wait until another day.

New Year and a Resolution!

We had a really good Christmas (need to get post up soon!) and a pretty good New Years.

Brent has been working some crazy hours so it's been a little tough without time off to just relax.

Luke and I drove to Conway to stay with him for New Years, that was really fun. We ate at Table Mesa and it was amazing! Best mexican food I've ever had!

I still can't believe it's a new year and I'm still having a hard time remembering to write 2014 on things.

I am very very excited about the coming the year, obviously. Baby Lane will make his appearance in a few short months, we have so much to get ready for him but in the same breath I feel more than ready for him. I feel like I have been waiting on him a long time :)

This year also holds a lot of change. Change scares me more than anything else in the world. I am not good with change, hence only having 3 jobs and living in 4 homes my entire life. I am a girl of habit.

But this year will bring some very big changes to my family and to me as a person. Good ones, don't get me wrong. Ones I have longed for and prayed for but change none the less.

So my word for 2014 is inevitably CHANGE. I will have to get used to a new life. One with two boys. One with twice the love yet twice the responsibilities. I am excited yet scared too.

In thinking of my life last year and the coming year I have made my new years resolution to be more present in my home. As embarrassing as it is to say social media sometimes takes over my days. Yes my days. I find myself on in all.the.time. There has been more than once that Brent and I will be watching a movie or t.v. show and I will be on FB and he gets upset because my phone light is making it distracting for him. 

I have wrote about this before but still struggle to find a good balance.

I know it's because I am a social person that I have this problem, I love chatting with ladies about things on Facebook I love looking at pictures of cute kids on Instagram I love sharing my own life with others. But most days I have been so distracted with FB and Instagram I am ignoring the people I love the most. The ones in my home who are right there needing and wanting my attention, and who deserve it more than anyone.

So my 'plan' (I use that term loosely because it will have to evolve over the coming months do to some changes *see above ha!) is to stay off social media in the evenings. During the day (at work) I can get on as much as my heart desires but once I am in my car leaving for the day, it's done. I will allow myself to answer texts and phones calls in the evenings but just not get on FB and such. Once I am at work the next morning I will be back on :) I am still unsure of my weekend 'plan' but I feel like weekdays are a good place to start.

Also I will stop biting my fingernails! This has been my resolution for about 10 years and I am still working on it! ha!

So do you have any resolutions? What does the year have in store for you?

Thursday Tidbits!

• We are 6 days away from Christmas!!! Ahhh freak out a little! ha! I am for the most part ready, but I  cannot believe its here and this year is gone! I just now got my Christmas cards addressed and sent out this morning so they may be more like New Years cards for some. haha!
• Lucas got a haircut Tuesday and of course it looks kinda funny. I don't what it is but he cannot get a good haircut to save his life. We have tried everywhere and it just isn't working. Maybe I am to picky about his hair or maybe since his hair isn't cut in the 'average' boy cut it throws them off, either way I am about to take matters into my own hands, literally. haha!
• Lane is moving, moving, moving! I LOVE being able to feel him. He moves the most when I drink sweet tea! I knew he couldn't escape that, he comes from a sweet tea lovin family :)
• I had a doctors appointment this morning to check up on him and he sounded great! I also got my next ultrasound scheduled for next month! Can't wait to see him again! 
• It's supposed to rain all weekend long. And it's not even going to be a cold rain, just yucky ol rain. I prefer snow this close to Christmas. 
• Yesterday Luke and I went to Chuck e Cheese to escape the daddy's not home blues. We nearly had the place to ourselves and had a lot of fun! I just love this age!
• Brent surprised us and came home last night! We are glad he is home!!
• The other night I looked over at Lucas and he was doing this! I laughed and snapped a picture and sent it to Brent! haha!  

•   We've had a lot of Christmas parties this week! Tuesday I had mine at work and tomorrow Lucas has his at school! They are doing a 'Polar Express' themed party, wearing jammies and drinking cocoa and for lunch they are making pizza AND Santa will be there, he is very excited about that :)
• I can't think of much else right now. I am going to spend the weekend inside cleaning house and getting everything ready for next week!!

Photos Galore!

Lots and Lots of pictures of everyday things that have been going on!

Two weeks ago we got snowed in! I have never been 'snowed in' so I was very excited! We lost power for about a day, less than 24 hours so we had to 'rough it' for a little bit and it was kinda fun.

Lucas and Brent spent some time building a gingerbread house.

We went out exploring for a little bit, well until Lucas' hands froze and he wanted to come back in.

We lost a majority of our big tree in the back yard. I am hoping it doesn't die but we aren't sure. It's the only big tree we have so it will be sad if it doesn't make it.

 Things got a little crazy as the weekend went on! ha! But it was fun to be forced to stay home and be together, that really doesn't happen enough if you ask me. Brent made sure we had back up power for when the electric went out and he did so good to make sure we stayed warm, happy, and fed. I seriously cannot brag on him enough for this. I know not everyone has a husband who knows what to do in situations like this and I love him even more for it!

Last week Lucas had his Christmas program at school! They did so good and looked so cute! I still have to laugh that Luke is the only boy in his class but it doesn't seem to bother him a bit, I am almost sure he hasn't even noticed :)

 Lane and I are growing right along! These were all taken last week so I'm sure I am even bigger now! ha! I looked earlier this week and I am less than 3 weeks away from the 3rd trimester! I about fell out of my chair when I saw that on paper.

I got a cute cute Stitch Fix top last week I absolutely adore it but only got to wear it once until after Lane comes.

Another fun shirt I got last week. My monogram sweat shirt! Love it! I told Brent it will be my weekend uniform until after delivery, I wasn't kidding.  

 Saturday we had a birthday party at Chucky Cheese! It was really fun and I noticed they had a new mouse. I really don't care for the Chucky costume but I think this new version is even worse than the old! Brent disagrees.We are a house divided on important issues. ha! But Lucas loved him so that's all that really matters I guess.

 We bought Lane's dresser last week too! It is just perfect for his nursery that I am envisioning! I can't believe everything is coming together so well, I didn't even have a plan until the day we found out he was a he then it just all came to me. I can't wait until after the holidays to really start painting and putting things up.

His carseat came in too! Lucas was very excited and wanted to see it in action :)

We finally got to see Frozen on Sunday. I was slightly disappointed (gasp!) but I had NO idea it was a princess movie, clearly I should do a little research, but Lucas loved it, go figure! ha!

Lucas' class has a book exchange on Friday. I found this at walmart and thought it was just perfect!

 Love love love my house this time of year. I think my house was built for Christmas time. It's just so cozy and I love my Christmas tree. I kinda wish it was acceptable to leave it up year round. 

 Saturday night we had my work Christmas party it was fun to get dressed up and go eat a yummy dinner. I really really wanted one good picture of Brent and I before we left. I thought Lucas would be a great candidate for the job. ha! He did pretty good but next time I should just set up the tripod. Poor thing.

 But we got some other cute ones :)

That's all the pictures I have!

I LOVE this time of year but this year is just wearing me out!

On my heart....

Life has been so busy this season. I don't love it or dislike it I am just glad to be in it.

I don't even necessarily mean busy like go,go,go just busy thinking and reflecting, living and being thankful for this amazing time.

I don't even know where to begin with everything that has been going on lately. We've been snowed in (without power), Lucas had his Christmas concert, we have all been feeling baby Lane kicking, we have been buying baby stuff to get ready, I have been Christmas shopping like crazy, we've had birthday parties, Christmas parties, movie watching, and lots of things I am forgetting I am sure! I have pictures of it all but I wanted to write about something different today. 

Often things will remind me of how I felt this time last year. I was not so jolly and ready to take on the world. I tried to be happy for Luke's sake. I tried to keep up with the motions for the holiday season when all I really wanted to do was lock myself in my room and sleep the month of December away. I won't forget that feeling. I don't take this time in my life for granted. I am loving being pregnant. I love the aches and pains and the being able to complain about getting fatter, I love having to buy new clothes and I love that I may not be able to get in and out of my new Challenger in a few weeks.

I love to think about what my babies have taught me. Lucas being my first has taught me what it is to be a mom. He has brought more joy into my world than I ever could conceive. I was grateful to have him first he kept me going, he kept me smiling when nothing else could.

And Lane who I haven't even met yet has taught me all about hope. He has already shown me life can and will go on. I already have such a strong bond to him and I can't wait to see him, hold him, and love him to pieces. I will be a different mom to him as a newborn than I was with Lucas. I will cherish the tiny little things and I now know to not let the small stuff get to me, a crying baby does not mean the end of the world.

And then there are my sweet angel babies who I will never meet this side of heaven. Who I will never know if they were boys or girls, who I feel like I let down. I did not do my part. I am worried that knowing what I know now will forever haunt me. They have taught me more about God and Jesus than anyone on this earth. They made me need Him. They made me cry to Him and pray to Him.

Whenever I go to the doctor and I am being seen by someone other than my regular doctor they will ask me what number pregnancy this is. I say four and my heart skips a beat every.time. I don't get sad anymore hearing that question, I am always glad to acknowledge them. They changed my life and for them I am forever grateful.

I know I say the same things a lot about all of this but I don't know how else to get it out. I want to tell the world about my losses and how faithful God is but I don't know how so this is where I will start.  

So under all the fun nursery decor, bump pictures, excited texts and blog posts, and funny pregnancy conundrums this is always there and I am so SO grateful to be on this journey :)

  

Thursday Tidbits! {lots a pictures}

• We are in full blown Christmas time at my house! We had good Thanksgiving and I have a ton of pictures of the last few weeks to share :)
• Having the fire place going is one of my favorite things! All the boys wanted to get their picture taken sitting by the fire, I have no idea why but I'll take it!

• Chippy came back to see us this week! He even brought Lucas some very special jammies!

• We celebrated Brent's 34th birthday this weekend! His birthday was Friday!  

• We got the house and yard ready for Christmas! Lucas picked out this little guy to bring home!

Love seeing Lane's little half stocking up there :)

He will have a real one next year of course!

 This little white tree is one from my grandma's house. She gave it to me this year and I am so happy she did. I just love it and it hold a lot of memories for me :)

• We had two Thanksgiving dinners, for lunch we went to my sister in law's and then for dinner we hosted for my side. I love love love to host holidays so I had fun!

• Putting together a little Santa playmobile set before dinner.

•  My little turkey (or shall I say ham!) on Thanksgiving day!

• The week of Thanksgiving I was off work so we spent the days playing with friends and doing lots of fun stuff! We went to the mall, to McDonalds, to see a movie,and lots of time spent playing games and play doh at home too!

•  AND a few weekends ago we finally (after a year) grouted the backsplash in the kitchen!! Now I can officially say my kitchen is DONE!! I love it so much and I am so proud of all the work Brent did!

• We had Luke's parent teacher conference a few weeks ago and he is doing so good in his class! They are learning word families right now and after the first of the year they will start with READING!! I am so excited for him and could not be more proud :)

• Wheew that was a big in! Hopefully I won't let some many weeks go before my next post! ha!