Well Hellooooo

Long time no chat! Lots going on and I just can't get into the swing of blogging right now. It's so weird but I guess my mind is just everywhere else right now.

THREE weeks away from meeting Lane! I can't even believe it. I am feeling huge and exhausted but otherwise pretty good. Lots of sharp but quick pains happening but they don't hang around so I know they are just those pesky braxton hicks I hear about :)

His nursery is DONE! I still have some clothes to wash and some organizing to do this weekend but other than that it turned out perfect and I am so proud of it, need to get pictures up!

In other baby news I have had 2 showers in the last few weeks and just feel so blessed that so many are excited for Lane's arrival as well. I have wonderful family and friends and feel so very undeserving of it all. 

One was my work/ going away party/shower and that was so hard to get though. I will miss the ladies I work with like crazy! They have become such constants in my life over the past 6 years. They are like family to me and have taught me so much professionally, life wise, and about motherhood. My favorite thing in the world is to listen to them tell stories about their kids growing up. I feel very privileged to have worked at First National for so long.

 Brent has been super busy himself. Working of course but also him and his dad are building a new racecar.  I ,for one, don't get to excited about this stuff but I went to see it this weekend and it's pretty amazing how he can build something so intricate from just a shell of a body. He has spent many hours on the weekends and in the evenings working along side his dad. Special times for sure. I will have to post a picture once it's completed.

Lucas is a good as ever :) he is getting so very excited to meet his baby brother. I've been showing him pictures of newborn babies to show him Lane won't come out walking and playing, ha! I think he knows that, he remembers his cousin Emmy but sometimes I think his little brain gets going with all the fun things him and Lane are going to do. 

I am getting super nervous about the time I will be in the hospital. I guess every 2nd time mom feels this fear. I want Lucas to be ok while I am there ,and logically I know he will, I don't want him feeling left out or board because mommy and daddy have to be at the hospital. We will have help with him sure but I guess it's just hormone infused emotions worrying me. ha!

I have no idea why I went off on that tangent, see I don't need to be blogging! lol!

Anyway..... my little All'asta endeavor is going so well. I am more surprised than anyone. I just love the products and they are so easy to sell. And the parties I have had have been so fun! I really really wish I would have known about it and started it sooner but I guess everything has it's place :)

 I have so much to get done this weekend at home. I want to deep clean EVERYTHING! Nesting is going to kill me I am sure of it. I am SO tired but just keep going because I cannot get my house clean enough.of course with a kiddo and 2 dogs running around it's pretty senseless to expect anything to stay clean for Lane's arrival! ha!  I want to get our bedroom spotless because he will be sleeping in there and couch washing is on the agenda as well! Also need to set up the pack n play and pack my hospital bag.

Ok I am thinking I have rambled enough today. Have a great weekend!



Thursday Tidbits!

• Two posts in one week! I can't even believe it! ha!
• This week has been very emotional for me. With Lucas turning five and then tonight a few of my sweet friends are putting on a little get together to celebrate the arrival of baby Lane, just so much going on and all happy but I am still so weepy about it all.  
• I can't believe we only have one more day of February left! This year just started and I already feel like it's going so fast!
• Lucas had a great birthday party at the monkey house last Thursday and a good little family gathering at our house on Tuesday night. He told me yesterday he was tired of partying! haha!
• Blogging has seriously been put on the back burner, I hate that but life is so busy right now I guess it's always the first to go.
• We are 36 days away from meeting baby Lane. I can not even believe it.
• I LOVE being pregnant but I can feel the 'wind down' coming. Clothes are getting harder to wear, I can't walk without getting out of breath, house work is getting much trickier to do. I can feel myself starting to want my 'old' body back. I am trying to enjoy these last few weeks though. They will be so SO bittersweet for so many reasons.  
• I guess that's all I have for today. I feel like I have so much more to say but words fail me. I guess 'pregnancy brain' is a real thing! ha!

A Post but No Pictures....

I had two friends tell me yesterday that I hadn't blogged in a while, so I thought I'd come out of hiding! kidding :)

Things are going well! Lots going on. I feel like most days I am running crazy only to realize I got only half of what I needed to done that day. But don't we all!

Brent went to work in Pennsylvania for three weeks, he came home on the 2nd and I haven't been that happy to see him in a long time! lol Mama was exhausted!

Speaking of exhaustion, baby Lane is growing big and wearing me out already. We turn 34 weeks on Friday! We got his birthday set last week and if he doesn't get in a hurry to get out he will be here on April 4th! I am super excited to meet him and start this new chapter in our lives.

His nursery is mostly done. I have a few odds and ends to gather but it turned out exactly like I had envisioned it. I am pretty proud of it :)

Lucas turns five in a week. FIVE! Yes! I am hoping these next few days drag by. How can I have a five year old!? His party is on Thursday evening at the Monkey House (his choice) and we all could not be more excited about that. We invited all his friends from school and all his other friends and he's excited to see everyone and play. Next week on his actual day we will have family over for dinner and carrot cake, his favorite.

Lucas is getting very ready to meet baby brother. He asks everyday after school "how's baby Lane doing" he talks to him everyday and has been gathering up "baby" toys to fill his room. He told Brent he wanted to make a window from his room to Lane's so they could see each other and he is convinced we will be putting a little baby bed in his room because Lane will want to sleep with him. He tells me he will help me feed Lane, give him a bath and even change diapers. He already loves his brother so much I can't wait to see how he is once Lane is here. 

A few weeks ago I gave my resignation at work. I won't be returning once Lane is born. It was a hard decision although it was something we knew would happen. It just doesn't make sense financially for me to continue to work and I wanted to be home and in the same town as both of the boys. I couldn't fathom the thought of  Lucas being in Greenwood at school (kindergarten eeeek) and me being all the way downtown Fort Smith working. My job is a great one that I will probably miss some days but being at home is a dream come true so on the hard days I will have to remind myself of that.  

Lucas will 'graduate' from PreK in May and then stay home with Lane and I for the summer. He starts Kindergarten in August. I am really looking forward to summertime, it will be the first and last time Lucas is at home with me during the day. I am glad him and Lane will have lots of time to together before the hustle and bustle of school starts.

I started selling All'asta (previous post) six weeks ago. It has been going well and I now have three parties under my belt, I am learning a lot and having fun too! I absolutely LOVE the products and love the re-purposed feel of the whole experience. I am thankful for something to 'keep my brain going' while I am at home and for a way to chat with people and make a little income :)

I think I hit all the high points :) I have a TON of pictures I need to put up but that will have to wait until another day.

Legacy....

I went to a funeral this morning to say goodbye to a very sweet lady. I hadn't seen her in what seems like a lifetime but once there and as the slide show played it was as if I was that little girl running down the way on early summer mornings to her house to play with her grand kids. 

 Robyn's, my childhood best friend, grandmother passed away this week.

I have had a lot of death come my way in the past few years. As sad as it is it's almost 'normal' to go to a funeral every 6 months or so. But this one really struck me. Maybe it's hormones or maybe I am finally feeling some sort of need to morn my own grandmother and mother in law, I'm not real sure. 

As I sat and listened to words spoke about Mary Francis I couldn't help but let big hot tears roll down my cheeks.

She lived for her family. That was it. Nothing more and nothing less. She loved her grand kids and took care of them. As did my own grandmother, my Mema S. They were both simple women. They didn't have any sort of 'higher' education. They worked hard to keep their homes nice and pretty. They were proud of what they had. All they needed in life to keep them happy was to see their family happy. Never speaking idle words of others and just not letting the small stuff get to them.

God always seems to know exactly what to put in my life at the right time. Yesterday I was struggling with fake persona's that people often put on. I was just at the point where I am/was tired of it. It's exhausting to listen too I can't even imagine how people live that way. But today I received a huge message to let it go.

Just let it go.

It isn't important.

I am not here to worry and wonder if someone is being truthful to me or not.

My husband and my child(ren) need me to be strong and happy. They come before all others. I support them in everything they do. I may not like to do everything they want to do (racing lol) but I am 100% supportive of  Brent and Lucas. 

I always want Lucas to see me being nice and kind to others. 

I want others to see Jesus through me and my family instead of having to 'preach' to them. I don't want to push and I don't want anyone walking away from a conversation with me feeling like less. 

That hurts me.

As I sat in that funeral home, that is across the street from my moms house thus meaning down the road from where Mary Francis lived many years, listening to her legacy I couldn't help but hope that when I am gone some of the same words will be spoke about me.

I hope my kids say she was our biggest fan.

I hope they say she enjoyed life even in the midst of hard times.

I hope my husband says she served me well.

I hope others say she was always kind to us.

I hope someone says I knew Jesus was real because she was in my life.

Those are big, huge sentences to me. They mean more to me than all the money in the world, than any career I could ever obtain, or than any social status I may think I need. 

I am not sure where exactly  I am going with all this. It just seems the older I get the more I truly understand what is important and what isn't. 

Life gets harder, more complicated, more frustrating but at the end of the day who do I want to be. Someone who relishes in that or someone who rises above it. 

10 things....

On my mind right now!

1. This season is so busy! We have a lot going on, plans being made, and hard stuff to work through.

2. Luke has been doing so well with swimming lessons. I love love love watching him learn in the water!

3. We have two very fun trips coming up and sadly I feel like I am wishing my life away anticipating them. But I just can not wait!

4. Brent and I have been working on being more active. We have tried to really start going outside and doing something after dinner rather than just watch t.v. (which we LOVE to do). We went jogging one evening and biking the next. I know it's good for everyone. We get some exercise and Luke gets to burn some energy and we all get some good time away from our electronic devices.

5. Tomorrow we are taking my mom car shopping. This is exciting yet stressful and I'm sure it will be hot as well. Ick!

6. I am having an 'off season' Scentsy party right now. I usually only do these in the fall and spring but a friend asked me to be a guinea pig for a Facebook type party she is wanting to start doing. So I'm interested to see how this goes!

7. I had my first coke in few weeks today I couldn't even get though half the glass. Weird.

8. I have wanted to try Wen shampoo for a long time now. I would catch it on infomercial and be so intrigued. I found some on Amazon for much cheaper and decided to try it. So far I really like it. I've only used it for three days though. I'll have to do a better review once I know more.

9. Tonight we are going to see the new Monsters Inc. movie. Not sure who is more excited me or Luke! I love going to movies, maybe a little to much.... 

10. Life is good. Really really good. I am so thankful.

Faith.

I am not a worrier by nature. It is how I am able to stay sane when Brent isn't home at night. I am always thankful for this trait especially when I hear friends and family talk about how scared they are of things or how they worry all the time about things. That isn't me. I am rarely scared, I enjoy scary movies, haunted houses, I don't worry myself silly on a daily basis with all the awful things that could happen in this world.

But the past few weeks I have been worried. 

 I am worried sick about the time coming to think about another baby. I think how will I deal with another miscarriage? How will I get through the early weeks not knowing if everything is alright or not? How will I be the mom Lucas needs if I am consumed with fear for the baby I haven't even met?

What will I do if this happens or that happens? So on and on and on.

I am sick thinking about seeing a positive pregnancy test while it's what I have been aching to see for months now. How can this be? I want nothing more than to have a newborn in my arms but getting to that point is terrifying.

Can I trust God with this? Should I try and protect my family and myself by not going through with having more babies? Can I say "God have your will" and not worry about what happens right before or in the middle of vacations and holidays and life going so smoothly.

Because at the end of the day that is what all of this is about is trust. Trust in Him, trust in myself.

I have lots of fear with this but what I also have is faith. I have a whole bunch of faith that the fear is trying to squash!

I won't let it.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Thursday Tidbits!

• Did you hear me say in my last post we are going to DISNEY WORLD!! I am SO excited! Well that probably is an understatement I have been utterly consumed with planning our day at Disney. Last night I had to laugh when Brent said "you know you need to start looking for things in Tampa, where we will be the majority of the week." Ha! I had kinda forgot about that part! I am trilled to go to the beach as well but there is just something so so special about taking Luke to Disney! We aren't going until the last of September so we have a few months to get everything planned out and we'll need every single day.

• Other things going on this week.....we went to tumbling class Tuesday night. I think Lucas is really liking it. He gets very excited to go and does what his teacher says for the entire hour and is happy afterward so that is reassuring. He is the tiniest one out there on his night and it is just so fun to watch!

• Next week we start swimming lessons for 2 weeks. I can't wait to see him learn more in the water! I feel so blessed that I am able to give him these actives that will hopefully enrich his life. I love nothing more than watching him learn new things.

• Brent has been gone some this week so it's just been me and little man for a few nights, last night we had a movie party complete with popcorn, we watched Up. That movie gets me every time. I have to try hard not to cry when it shows the couple going through their life and things don't go how they plan it.

• Lucas has the best tan lines where he wears his flip flop. The cutest thing!

• I can't believe I forgot to put this in my birthday post, my sister in law gave me these neat flowers! They are so pretty and I still can't figure out how they got the color on them....

• Also the other night I opened one of my bottles from the winery. This stuff is so yummy! I'm not sure I'll ever drink much of anything else. Tastes so similar to champagne :)

• And in other birthday happenings I still have my birthday dinner with my side of the fam this weekend! So looking forward to that! Then my birthday will officially be over and I have to accept the fact that I really am 26 :( ha!

• Welp that's the high points of my week so far! So happy today is already Thursday!!

Birthday Weekend!

I had such a great birthday this year! I am so blessed to be surrounded by such thoughtful people. My heart is full!

My fun weekend started Thursday at work. I came into find these sweet daises and lots of yummy goodies to celebrate with!

For lunch one of my favorite work girls took me to lunch at Bravo it was so good! We ate out on the patio and it was great!

My work girls always spoil me well :)

Friday I took off work for a trip to the water park in Alma! Ashley and Ethan went with us and we had a blast!

Lucas loves water, such a blessing! We will be in many pools this summer!

Sweet boy eating a quick snack

He LOVED going down the slide. After a few times of going with him I thought I'd see if he would go up the stairs and go down without me and he did it! I was so shocked and so proud! He probably went down that slide 10 times! He was SO fun!

My favorite was the kiddy pool, he could play and I could tan, it doesn't get much better than that!

Such a fun great birthday time with Lucas!

That evening my my side of the family took Luke and I out for Mexican! My favorite!  Brent was racing so he couldn't go.

Saturday (my actual birthday) Brent and I went to Altus/Ozark area to two of the wineries we have close by! It was such a neat experience I can't believe neither of us had ever been before!

 We ate lunch at the restaurant Wederkehr has and the food was out of this world amazing! I had the Quiche and it was so yummy! I seriously want to go back right now just to eat. SO so good!

                 Quick picture the waitress snapped, not the best but it's all we got! ha!

After lunch we went to the Post winery and tried a few wines then went on a tour. The wine and juice was so good! We left with a few bottles of each and I got this funny sign :)

I loved getting to spend the afternoon with Brent and do something neither of us had ever done! So fun! And Brent gave me the best gift EVER the go ahead to start planning a trip to DISNEY WORLD! I am so excited I can hardly contain myself!

When we got back Brent and Lucas put on a little birthday party for me, Lucas was worried I didn't get a 'party' I guess so him and daddy went to the store and he picked out everything I would need for a good time SpongeBob hats, a balloon, cupcakes and candles to blow out. It was precious and he was so proud of himself.

 After my SpongeBob party mom went home and the boys took me out for the evening. We went to dinner at Mcalister's and then to see Epic at 'the big movie'! Such a great time! I am so blessed to have Brent and Lucas they take such good care of me!

Yesterday we went to a birthday party for Lance, one of Luke's little friends. I didn't take one single picture but it was a fun time!

Then for dinner we went to my sis in laws house, we ate a yummy dinner and played with the kids! The best way to end my weekend!

I am so grateful for Brent making my day so great and spoiling me year around and such amazing family and friends. Thank you for all the birthday wishes they truly made my day!

This 26 thing doesn't seem so bad after all! ha!



Transformation Tuesday! {on Wednesday}

I love love love simple white curtains. Mine are actually just sheets from wal-mart and I've had them for years. I have a ton of them and use them for curtains and table cloths when needed. They cost about $5 per flat sheet and I usually get the full size. Love em!

Anyway I've had my 'curtians' hung like this for a while but then a Pottery Barn magazine came in.

And I saw this. Plain white panel curtains hung from clip rings. I have a ton of these rings so I got to work!

Now I have this! Much much better I think! Love how there is more fabric to pool at the bottom and love the less formal look with the rings.

*sorry for the horrible slant I was on the floor taking this one! ha!

This transformation cost me $0 I already had everything but even if you didn't it's a cheap way to cover windows.

Happy Wednesday!

What's Goin on Round Here!

I didn't do a weekend post yesterday because I didn't feel like it was a good one but now looking at pictures from the weekend I feel I need to post them.

This is a hard time for our family. My mother in law isn't doing to well and we are really starting to see a decline in her health. I try very hard to keep this blog a positive place but sometimes life happens and it's not always positive.

Sandra went into the hospital Friday night and is now in respite/hospice care until my father in law can decide what is best for her now. He has taken care of her though her Alzheimer's but now her mobility has changed and it's worrisome for her to be at home.

We are all having a hard time with this, we knew this day would come but it doesn't make it any easier.

Lucas and Nana a little less than 4 years ago.

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Friday night I conned Brent into eating mexican even though he is supposed to be on a diet. I am a fabulous diet partner! ha!

We did some shopping at the mall and went to Toys R Us. It was a fun night with my boys :)

We got home way before the storm hit and I was up a long time watching the weather while Brent was at his parents house.

 We made it though again with no damage and I am so grateful! We didn't even have to take cover this time and Luke slept right though it.

Saturday we went to eat lunch and then went rug shopping. I have tried and tried to find a rug for our living room for what seems like forever with no luck! We have brought home and returned two rugs that didn't work so I was quite discouraged to say the least but Saturday we found one! We are so happy with it! My living room feels complete and is so much softer! I am in love! I'm waiting on a sunny day to take some pictures of my living room to show off the whole thing :)

After that we headed up to the hospital for the rest of the day.

Sandra was in good spirits and enjoyed all her visitors :)

Saturday night we stayed home and the boys watched Star Wars. Lucas loves this stuff. It's so funny! He loves all the characters and the battle scenes and of course loves that the main character has the same name as him. I really can't get into Star Wars type movies but I love that he loves it so much. Hearing him talk about it is so cute!

Just washed and dryed bed means time to roll around in the hot sheets!

 Sunday we got up early and did lots and lots of yard work! Well mainly just flower bed work. We weeded the flower bed and cleaned out all the old much and replaced it with new. We also added a small flower bed to the other side of the drive way and Brent built a little rock runoff from the drain spout.

Lucas loved helping us move mulch and rocks around with his gator.

And wearing my gloves and finding as many bugs as he could, he had so much fun :)

                         Flower bed is done for the season! Praise the Lord!

We have so much going on this week! 4 tball games, first tumbling class tonight, school meeting tomorrow night for me, going to the water park on Friday with friends and Brent is going racing on Friday, Saturday we are headed out of town to go on a wine tour, and Sunday we have a birthday party to go to for some friends. This season is SO busy but it's all so FUN! I wouldn't change any of it!   



June 1st!

It's June 1st!
JUNE of 2013! How on earth can this be?! This year is half gone!

I turn 26 in 7 days! You knew this post was coming, didn't you? Ha!

Yesterday on my way to work I ran out of gas. I know SO stupid! I thought I could make it, I was pushing the limits and being very immature. Not using my time wisely and all that jazz. Yes a week before my 26th birthday I ran out of gas.

I can't wait to tell my kids that one!

Thank goodness for my trusty Uncle and his sidekick Drake to bail me out. I didn't get the lecture I was expecting but I guess when one is about to be 26 what can you say? I was ever so grateful I had already dropped Luke off at school because I can't imagine his questions.

The police got involved and everything. Embarrassing. For. Real.

And as I sat and waited for my Uncle and some gas I was thinking about things. At first I went to "this is so awful, why did I do this, I am so mad at myself, how could I be so stupid"

But then something hit me and I thought this isn't that bad. I have someone to call, I don't have Luke with me, I made it over the railroad tracks, it's not raining, and a nice officer stopped to put his lights on behind me so no one would hit me.

It could've been much worse and so with that I had a good laugh at myself and went on with my day.

But all this to say that age is truly just a number I am still certainly no "grown up" I act that way most of the time but I am still learning with the best of them!

So....

Happy Birthday Week to me!!

Thursday Tidbits!

• Girl Code on mtv cracks me up! I was literally laughing out loud the other night watching it!

• I can count on one hand how many times I've had a coke (or pepsi) this month! Huge progress! Except for now that I typed that I am DYING for a pepsi! Ugh!

• I cannot believe in less than 2 weeks I will turn 26! I don't know why but for some reason I am having such a hard time with birthdays this year. Lucas turning 4 nearly killed me and I am just so sad about another year gone. I know I will perk up with all the fun birthday festivities and cake but goodness today it feels like a punch in the gut.

#whendidIturn65

• Tuesday evening I put on my walking shoes and went for a walk! It was the first time in a long long time but it felt amazing! I have to do this more often!

• Last night we took Luke to the rodeo for the first time! We aren't really rodeo people but I get free tickets at work so I thought it would be something fun for Luke.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

And boy did we have fun! We were Gold Nuggets or gold chickens as Lucas said so we got to eat a yummy meal before, got free close parking, and fantastic seats! It was a good Wednesday night! I am so blessed to work where I do.

• Today we are headed to the swimming pool for the first time this year! If the rain stays away! Do you know how much I love being at the pool?! Love summertime :)  Luke's new beach towel came in yesterday! Love seeing his sweet name on things. I know I only have about .5 years left to monogram things but that's ok :)
  

• Brent and I have been tossing around the idea of putting our house up for sale soon. I know we just got new flooring that I adore (and will want to take with me) but we anticipate our home being on the market a long time (see: years) so we are thinking the sooner we get a for sale sign up the better it might be. This was never intended to be our forever home so I knew this day would come but I have such mixed feelings about it. Mostly sadness and excitement.

• Monday I watched two movies on Lifetime, My Sisters Keeper, heart. breaking. I had watched it before but it still makes me cry and Where the Heart is which is also a tear jerker. I remember my mom always watching Lifetime movies on the weekends and I never understood why and  now here I am. Old and watching sappy movies that no one wants to watch with me. Sheesh!

• That all I've got friends! Have a great weekend!!

What I Wore Wednesday!

Love love loving that the weather is warmer and I can break out the summer time wear! Thank goodness for Barre class so I actually feel good in shorts this year!

Chambray top- Old Navy

White shorts- Walmart (last year)

Gold Flip Flops- Old Navy

And I am really liking my hair pulled back like this can ya tell? ha!

Hand on hip- check!

Bad bathroom pic- check!

For a sleepy day at work

Tunic- Target

Black leggings- TJ Maxx (old)

Black flats- Payless I think (old)

Happy Wednesday!