I have come to learn that not much is said about miscarriage and for some reason that kind of bothers me. Sure you can find message boards online with lots of info but it seems to be such a secret thing and I have to wonder why? I have found when I finally grasp the courage to talk to someone about it their reaction is almost always the same "that happened to me, my mom, my sister, etc" they have stories and that helps me so much. And while I hate that anyone has been though the same struggles as me there is something so comforting once you realize you are not alone. So I thought while I have these thoughts I am going to put them out there to help someone or to help myself. And if you have been though one or know someone who has I encourage you to do the same.
Losing a pregnancy is the horrible part. Losing your hopes and dreams of that little one.
To me the constant reminders of the life lost is the worst part.
- The constant reminder every time you use the bathroom for the next 2 weeks
- The bruises from all the needle pokes or IVs from all the blood drawn.
- The medical bills that pile in and have to be paid.
- Seeing and hearing about kids and babies not wanted.
- When your 3 year old asks about "my baby".
- When special dates come up, ultrasound dates and due dates.
- Emails or Text from places you have signed to get coupons or info.
Last night I finally acknowledged our miscarriages on FaceBook. I didn't do it for pity but I am tired of hiding it. It's a huge deal in our lives and those tiny lives will re-write our story. I felt so much better to be honest, to let people know I am struggling and that if you are you are not alone.